Here's an interesting question from a reader, which may be one that you share too:

"How [do I] impress them instantly, such that they can devote their precious time speaking with me alone, rather than splitting their time amongst those around?"

My response:

Listen to them with your full and undivided attention.

Don't sell, persuade, advise, talk about yourself, etc.

When you DO talk, ask questions about the other person.

If you really want to impress someone and have them talk with only you, this is all you need to do!

Try it.

Now, here is my question for you:

What will you do with all the information you get from this conversation?

No, I don't mean to be irritating or annoying! I do however want you to think why you might want to have someone speak with you all evening.

OK, here's a story about what NOT to do when trying to impress someone:

A gentleman was introduced to me at a business reception once. He started the conversation by saying that he'd been wanting to meet me in person.

He got my attention right away!

He went on to say that he'd met with a couple of other Chapter Presidents of our professional association, and had presented his new product to them. These Chapter Presidents had been very impressed with what they had seen and wanted to find a way to make this product available to their Chapter members. As a Chapter President myself, would I be interested in finding out more about his product?

I was intrigued.

I asked if he had actually done a demo of the product to these other Chapters. He said he had. And since he was based in the area, he would be willing to do the same for us.

I was ready to schedule a time to talk with him further at a later time.

However, at that moment, he started telling me more about his product. As he went into more and more detail, my attention started fading. And as he described how our Chapter members might use the product, I remember thinking that his assumptions about our members and the nature of their businesses weren't all valid. I couldn't see them using the product the way he thought they might.

But I didn't correct him. I did not want to engage in this detailed conversation at this reception. I wanted to catch up with people I hadn't seen in a while -- that was my agenda for the evening.

By the time we ended the conversation, most of my original interest for his product was gone.

As I thought about this interaction later, I realized that this person would have had a much more positive and powerful impact, if he'd simply asked for an appointment to talk further at a later time once he saw my interest. And at this other appointment, he could have found out more about our members, and asked to present at one of our Chapter meetings.

Then he could have really impressed the whole Chapter with his audio-visual presentation!

So if you want to impress someone, why is this?

• Whom are you talking to? Why might they be interested in hearing what you have to say?
• What is most appropriate time and place for the type of conversation you want to have? If you don't know, how can you find out?

Think about it. See how your responses affect your conversations and interactions, and the kind of impression you make on other people.