[In Part one of this two part series we talked about the necessity of asking for what you want if you're going to get what you want out of networking. In Part two we'll get into the specifics of asking for what you want.]

Now that you understand the importance of asking for what you want you'll want to maximize that ask.

The biggest trap in asking for what you want is in asking too broadly. In more structured networking groups the wost offenders always seem to be the chiropractors. They all have the same line which might be humorous, but in the end is absolutely useless. When they're asking for a referral they'll suggest: "Anybody with a spine." If you're like me you know hundreds of people, maybe even thousands and there's a good chance that almost all of them have a spine.

If I ask you that question: Who do you know who has a spine? Who is the first person that comes to mind for you? Nobody? That's exactly what I thought. The question is so broad and non-specific that the result is nothing.

I'm guessing you want results that are somewhat better than nothing? Keep reading...

Of course the opposite of this broad non-specific ask is to ask as narrowly and specifically as you can. I'll give you a real life example of my own at a networking event I attended several years ago. This was a good sized meeting with 50-60 people individually standing up and giving some type of elevator pitch. I try real hard to listen to these things, but with 60 people it gets pretty monotonous. Besides I was pretty focused on my taco salad. Then a woman stands up, explains what she does and tells us that she's looking for the owner or sales director of a cleaning company. I immediately pulled out my phone, which also has all of my contacts, and proceeded to write down the names and direct phone numbers for 2 cleaning company owners and 1 cleaning company sales director that I knew.

How's that for a difference? The problem is most people are afraid to ask so specifically fearing that they're going to miss out on everything else. Remember, the person wanting people with spines (everyone) was referred to nobody. The person asking with unbelievable specificity may not have asked for a connection that everyone necessarily had, but she got at least 3 phone numbers just from me. (I gave NO other referrals based on the other 59 elevator pitches that day).

The only way you're going to believe me on this one is to try it. First you'll need to identify what that specific ask is for you. You might want to start with your best customer, or your ideal client profile. Is there something unique to those individuals that you could ask for? This is the hardest part of asking specifically for what you want. You might try asking for specific introductions. For example: Do you know anybody who could introduce me to the CFO of the Lance Armstrong Foundation?

First ask for what you want or your very unlikely to get it [review Part 1 of this series]

Second ask as specifically as possible, and watch your referrals go through the roof!

People you meet, and those already in your network really do want to help. Make it easy for them. Ask specifically for what you want!

Happy Networking!