I'm sure by now you are well aware that networking is a key method of building your business. What you may not be aware of is that the secret to effective networking lies less in what you say, and more in how you listen.

The key to success in networking is to show interest in the people that you meet. The most important method is to apply effective listening skills. Listening is hard work; most people are not very good at it. Listening at networking events is even harder because there are so many distractions and because we are so focused on making a good impression. By learning effective listening skills, you will stand out in the crowd.

Next time, instead of focusing on your self, your 30-second speech and the all-important collection of business cards, try the following:

• Really focus on the person you are speaking to. What words are they saying? Does their body language and tone of voice match their words? Why or why not?
• Do they seem nervous or ill at ease? Focus on making them more comfortable.
• Make eye contact, smile and make encouraging noises as they speak.
• Ask open-ended questions that show you have really heard what they had to say.
• As they are speaking, try to find some way you can help them by connecting them with someone else, sending them an article, selling them your services or even just listening.

Once you learn to put others at ease and make them feel really listened to, they will compete for your attention. Before long, you will find that networking becomes a relatively easy and even enjoyable way to build your business.