If you go to Amazon.com and search for business networking books, there are over 63,000 listed and still growing on a daily basis. But there are pretty much only two schools of thought on why and how you should network. (Although I must confess I did not review all 63K of the books!)

The first school is what we can call the “Power” school. This is the type of networking where you focus on getting sales or the very least appointments to get sales. This method is exceedingly focused and goal driven. You will have quotas to achieve in order for you to feel the event was successful. A student of the Power school will study the event and participants prior to going, zooming in on knowing exactly who you want to talk to. You will suit up with the proper amount of business cards and proper attire for the best possible impression.

When meeting people you will have a dynamite 30 (60) second commercial, engage in focused banter, use body language to draw people into the conversation or keep them away. You will not eat (eat before the event!) to keep at least one hand free and sip abstemiously from your one glass. You will at minimum get a business card, but it only counts as a score if you get an appointment or the promise that you can call tomorrow and then make the appointment. You will not spend too much time with an individual or group, but circulate meeting additional people achieving your pre-determined criteria of X amount of introductions, business cards and/or appointments.

Don’t forget to surreptiously write notes on their business card for appearance, wife’s name, and other memorable bits of data that will help create that bond between the two of you when you next meet.

Whew. I’m exhausted just writing it!

Well, you may notice a tinge of sarcasm, but with my career I network significantly and while there are many who attempt this way of networking, there are few (very few) people that can do this and do it well. The problem is that most people who network have read a book or two and so they know the game. The other factor is that the pressure sell, whether it’s for your business or just an appointment sticks out like a sore thumb if not done with a flawless touch. It’s typically pretty obvious and not very enjoyable for the one on the receiving end.

There are a couple of positives if you can get it to work. It’s short, focused, exceedingly goal oriented and you don’t spend a lot of time. If it’s something that’s not working out, you move to other networking opportunities.

The second school is where you engage in business networking for multiple reasons, but with the overriding idea is that you are there to build relationships. Students of the Relationship school of networking look at the people they are meeting and see not only potential buyers, but possible mentors, resources, coaches or maybe a future employer.. This is a slower, longer term, greater effort (at least initially) required type of networking.

So instead of just looking at a group as fresh meat, by taking the opportunity to getting to know them and their business, you open up a wider range of possibilities. Is it someone who was in your situation at one time? Would they make a great mentor? What about someone else that works the same market, but is not a competitor? Could they become a partner, where you work together or swap prospects? Is there somebody that you would like to know if you decide to pursue a different career?

At any networking event, there is a vast array of talent, experience, knowledge, resources and possibilities. If you put your sales blinders on you may get a sale, but miss meeting and developing relationships with people that can help grow your business, give answers to stressful challenges you face and act as a dynamite referral resource.

The two challenges to the Relationship school are that it has a longer focus. So if you need sales NOW, this could be problematic.

The second challenge is that can be a great cop-out!

If I join the Relationship school of networking that means I can go out, talk to a bunch of people, have a beer and munchies and not be required to have anything to show for it! Sorry folks, but that’s called socializing on the company’s dime, not networking.

So there needs to be some goals here.

• Meet new people. If you’re attending events by the same organization and all you are doing is talking to the same people all the time, you’re not networking. Make a goal that you will spend at least 50% of the event talking with new people or ones that you haven’t met before. If you want, bring a buddy (not a posse) around and you can meet people together.
• Welcome the newbie. See someone standing against the wall and looking like a deer caught in the headlights? Go over and introduce yourself. Get to know them and introduce them to others. Make sure you say hello at the 2nd and 3rd event. Think that person will remember you, be grateful for easing them into the group?
• Look to find someone that your clients might want to do business with. If you can give a client a good resource, you’re client will be grateful and the person that you gave business will be grateful. There is a whole networking business model based on helping others connect will always help you.
• Make appointments to meet. It doesn’t have to be a sales prospect. Maybe to explore a possible partnership, sharing of similar clients (if you’re not competitors). Maybe it could turn into a relationship that you each support each other, challenge and cheer the other on.
• Experiment. Use networking events as opportunities to try new ways to explain your business. Look at those that you find interesting and observe how they communicate.

By networking and meeting people with the idea that they may have much more to offer than just a sales opportunity you open the doors to genuine relationships where you want to help them as well as yourself out. And once that’s established, you will have people that will want to do business with you and send business to you.