Recently, I found myself in an awkward networking situation. At a business breakfast I sat at a table with nine other people, some I knew and others whose faces were new to me. While this event did not allow for each attendee to introduce themselves, conversation around the table helped each of us to know what the other people at our table did. All was pleasant. As the meal ended, a guest told another person seated at the table that they were each other’s competition.

Haven’t we been in a similar situation, where there are two bankers or two financial planners from different companies sitting in close proximity? In most instances, all is friendly. In this situation though, I thought I would have to don my striped shirt to referee the conversation. Person #1 was very complimentary to the newer person. In a welcoming way she said, “I don’t look at you as competition, because there is more than enough business to go around. Welcome to the organization.” The newer person wouldn’t drop the challenge and instead threw back another verbal volley. “You are the competition and we are better than you!” This was the moment when I started wondering if the boxing gloves were coming out!

There were several people within earshot of this conversation around the table. We were all momentarily frozen to inaction. Finally, one of us regained our voice and said, “You know person #1 is right. There are enough people in this organization and the state for each of you to be very successful. I hope you can understand that concept.” With that the tension eased and Person #1 disengaged, smiled and walked away from the confrontation. It was pretty obvious as to who was the winner in that interaction.

What is the next step in this situation? I don’t really think there is one, especially for person #2 who was so intent on marking her new territory.

Attacking the competition in private or in public is just not the way to go. All of us sitting around the table that day have since commented to each other about what we experienced. To each person the feeling is, “What was that person thinking? I would never do business with a person who acted that way because I could never trust what he or she is going to do next.” The best mode of operation is to get to know the “competition” because in many instances they will be helpful in the future if they think of you as a friend.