In the first part of this article, I explored the assets shy people bring to their sales endeavors, and I tried to explode the myth that we wallflowers just don’t have the right stuff to be successful in this field. On the contrary, we have gifts that make us naturals for sales, but we also have to venture away from our comfort zone and do things that do not come naturally to us. And that is what I want to discuss here.

I do not want to advocate overcoming shyness. That would be like asking you to stop being Irish. You are who you are. The fact is, though, that as a sales person, you and your shyness will have to venture into unfamiliar territory, and I want to give you some of my tricks for navigating this strange land.

As I mentioned in the first article, I was born shy. I’m still shy. I dove head-first into my in-home parties business without even considering the fact that it would require me to be “on stage” for a living. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, if I had been thinking, I probably wouldn’t have taken the plunge! So, when the day of my first party arrived, the reality paralyzed me. Suddenly, I was standing in front of a crowd of women and had no idea what I was going to say.

I stammered out a weak introduction, and before I could really start wallowing in my panic, I just started passing around products. Before I knew it, I was talking about the products, answering questions, and the evening started to flow. The guests made their own fun, exploring the line and laughing together, and I realized that I wasn’t there to be the center of attention. My role was more like that of a bottle of wine: I gave the guests something to gather around to enjoy each other’s company—not mine. The wine itself isn’t important; nobody pays attention to the bottle on the table; it is just an excuse to get together.

Gaining this perspective on my role was great, because it made me feel less on the spot and allowed me to feel more comfortable. And that is what I want to help you do, here: to shift your perspective when you’re out of your element, and view it as a comfort zone. As sales people, we often have to make first contact, speak publicly, introduce ourselves to strangers, and play the role of an authority. These things are often terrifying, even for people who are naturally outgoing!

Here are a few metal tricks that you can use to bring about that shift in perspective:

Remember your goals: This is essential because your goals are always bigger and more important than any momentary discomfort. Focus on your sense of purpose, why you are doing this. For instance, I am a single mother, supporting myself and my child. Providing a comfortable life for us, while allowing me to be there for him at home, is my goal. When I compare that desire against the jitters I may get before handing my business card to a stranger or picking up the phone, my perspective shifts. Potentially embarrassing myself in front of someone I don’t even know is suddenly very, very low on my scale of pressing issues.

Tell yourself that you’re not going to die of it. Really, you are not going to die of it, whatever it is. That may sound a little silly, but give it a try the next time you realize that you’re putting something off because you are afraid. Say, for example, you get a message from a customer who is unhappy with a product you sold her, and she’s taken a very confrontational tone of voice with you. You have to call her back, but you don’t pick up the phone for all kinds of reasons (“She’s probably having dinner now, so I’ll call her tomorrow,” or “Well, she’s probably at work, so I’ll reach her this evening” ad infinitum.). But the real reason you aren’t calling is that you are avoiding the unpleasant confrontation. So, say it to yourself: “For crying out loud, I am not going to die of this.” Usually, when I say this to myself, I gain an instant sense of humor about the situation, because it puts my fear into a context that makes it seem very petty, and the mantra serves as a sort of challenge to me.

See your fear as an ally. This is a perspective I gained from the famous lawyer, Gerry Spence’s book How to Argue and Win Every Time, which I highly recommend. It is about speaking from your heart. When you are shaking in your boots before you get up in front of a crowd of strangers, remember that your fear is evidence of your life force, a basic element of your humanity. You have the option and the power to harness your fear productively, or to let it paralyze you. The trick is to acknowledge your fear, first. Don’t try to stop being afraid. Allow yourself to feel it, but shift your understanding of your fear. Essentially, the new perspective allows you to understand your fear as exuberance, as an affirmation of your alive-ness. And then you can work from this place. Here is what Spence says to himself, as he is gathering himself to speak before the jury: “They can wait a few seconds more. Fear is energy. If you feel your fear, you can also feel its power, and you can change its power into your power.”

Remember to Celebrate. Acknowledge your milestones. When we go out on a limb, venture out of our comfort zone, we feel exhilarated. But, immediately, our minds turn against us. We turn the event into an excuse to criticize ourselves. If you presented your first in-home party, for instance, and came away from it cringing at that one gaff you made, keep in mind that that’s natural. We’re not easy on ourselves. Shy people are perfectionists, and we’d rather do nothing at all than fail (Despite what we like to tell ourselves, shy people have immense egos that bruise quite easily—and yes, I am speaking for myself!). Before you start in on yourself, remember to allow yourself to feel and acknowledge the energy you created within. Allow yourself to revel in that “Ohmygosh! I can’t believe I just did that!!” feeling. Don’t be a boomerang, sailing away from your comfort zone, and then knocking yourself out cold on the rebound. You may not have met your own standards of success where sales is concerned, or your presentation might not have brought the house down, but you pushed your boundaries; you challenged yourself and followed through; you did something you have never done before. This shift in perspective takes you from judging how you did, to celebrating what you did. Revel in the fact that you dared to dive in over your head, before you condemn yourself for barely treading water.

These are some of the ways I shift my perspective. They are mine, but they may work for you, too. If they don’t resonate, perhaps the examples will give you the inspiration to think of your own ways of putting your experiences into context. It’s all about angles and vision. There’s more to it than just imagining your audience in their underwear (which would, in fact, scare the bejeebus out of me). It’s about repositioning yourself; it’s about re-contextualizing a frightening situation. For me, it’s about seeing myself as the stage, rather than the actor on the stage. The situation is the same. I’m still standing there in front of a crowd of strangers, but how I choose to see that transforms it from a nightmare into a comfort zone. You will find, as you keep pushing your boundaries, that unfamiliar territory will become home to you.

(c) Ilse Driggs, 2006

I'm and Independent Passion Parties Consultant, living in Portland, Oregon with my kid, two rats, four frogs and a 20-year-old cat. I love what I do because it's fun, challenging, always interesting, and the supportive network of women I work with is invaluable. I am also grateful to have the opportunity to work at home! You can e-mail me at: passionalive@gmail.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ilse_Driggs